I am going to call it a wrap after this second piece for submission to the 6x6x2012 exhibit. Two solid pieces is better than one/none and I want to move on to another project while I still have momentum. I liked the first one better, but I've decided that was because I had zero expectations for the final product. When I sat down to work on the second one I felt an overwhelming amount of pressure because I liked the way the first one turned out so much that I was afraid this one wouldn't measure up. Silly me. That is something I should work on - having fewer expectations and enjoying the process of making more. I know Frida is somewhat of a cliche subject these days, but I can understand why - the intensity of her work and passion in her life story is very inspiring. She has always been one of my favorites.

"I leave you my portrait so that you will have my presence all the days and nights that I am away from you." -Frida Kahlo

I am about a third of the way into this book and thoroughly enjoying it. When I picked it up off the shelf at Barnes and Noble and read that author Jonah Lehrer is a contributing editor at National Public Radio's Radio Lab, I was instantly sold (that program got me through a whole year of commuting 50 minutes to Lansing during my student teaching). So far, I have not been disappointed. I will give you a full review when I finish - which hopefully, wont be too long from now seeing as my bedside book pile is growing exponentially.

Here is an excerpt about graphic designer Milton Glaser and the influence that painter Giorgio Morandi had on his work ethic. Morandi's work has been included in my own search for inspiration so this added insight was very interesting to me.  I particularly like the lesson Lehrer draws from this example, describing artists - through a quote by Nietzsche - as "great workers" rather than prodigies with natural-born creative and technical abilities. Read for yourself: 

Glaser's impressive work ethic- his ability to stick with a problem until it surrenders- is itself a skill that took years to develop. In 1951, Glaser was an impressionable twenty-one-year-old with a Fulbright fellowship who was heading to Bologna to study etching with the painter Georgio Morandi. At the time, Morandi was creating his "natura morta" paintings, a collection of still lifes that featured empty wine bottles and terra cotta vases set against a flat, gray background. The art was austere, a reflection of Morandi's disciplined artistic process. He spent months on each canvas, trying to edge closer to the fragile reality he wanted to describe. Sometimes, Morandi would just stare at the random collection of containers and become too intimidated to paint. "I'd watch him get so focused on these incredibly tiny details," Glaser remembers. "He'd devote weeks of his life to moving a passage of gray a quarter of an inch to the left, or smoothing out the curve of a bottle. It didn't matter that nobody else would notice. He would notice, and that was more than enough."

Morandi's obsessive dedication to getting the image exactly right changed forever the way Glaser thought about creativity. His old artistic model had been Pablo Picasso- "A raging lunatic genius who wanted to devour the world," as Glaser puts it- but his new hero was the modest Italian painter. "It was Morandi who taught me about dedication," Glaser says. "He showed me the necessity of persistence, and that nothing good is ever easy. And that's because we see nothing at first glance. It's only by really thinking about something that we're able to move ourselves into perceptions that we never knew we had the capacity for."

- - - - -

The lesson of W.H. Auden and Milton Glaser is that working memory is an essential tool of the imagination. Sometimes, all we need to do is pay attention, to think until the necessary thoughts intersect. The progress will be slow, but the answer will gradually reveal itself, like a poem emerging from the edits. As Nietzsche observed in his 1878 book "Human, All Too Human":

Artists have a vested interest in our believing in the flash of revelation, the so-called  inspiration . . . shining down from heavens as a ray of grace. In reality, the imagination of the good artist or thinker produces continuously good, mediocre, or bad things, but his judgement, trained and sharpened to a fine point, rejects, selects, connects . . . All great artists and thinkers are great workers, indefatigable not only in inventing, but also in rejecting, sifting, transforming, ordering. 

Thank goodness for inspiration and disconnected thoughts coming together. I had watched this video of Agnes-Cecile painting via Collosal Art and Design blog earlier in the week probably about twenty-five times.  It was the fluidity of the paint paired with tight, almost drawn elements that made me drool. After painting this card a few days ago and pulling out some watercolor paints that had been untouched for years, I decided - what the hell - I'll give it a try. Using colors from a picture of Iceland that has been my desktop background since we bought our plane tickets in December, an old photography project, and the aforementioned video on repeat, I painted to my little heart's content. And I actually like it. It is small - 6 inches square - and I plan to use it as one of my submissions for the 6 x 6 exhibit. The thing practically painted itself. I was completely at ease - daydreaming about our summer trip and keeping my cool about stray pools of paint. At the very end, when I wasn't sure if I should add anything else, I thought... put a bird on it! hahaha And with that, I bid you my friends and my creative rut, adieu for today.

Funny as it sounds, I think that writing all my clutter out last night made me feel better than I have in a long time. I survived Monday - sometimes that counts as a big accomplishment in my book - and have a little of my Maria-style zest back. Being awake and engaged at 11pm feels oddly unfamiliar but good all the same.

After reflecting on the things that are really going on in this little studio (as opposed to the lack of progress that kept repeating on my mind's reel), I have a plan for the week. First priority: entries for the 6x6 exhibit. You can read about the project here. In addition to this more serious and pressured art goal (the entries must be postmarked by May 5th) I hope to complete a crafted birthday present for a dear friend - updates and pics to follow after the actual gifting (I don't want to ruin the surprise *just in case*). 

Tonight I had half an hour or so post- dinner (leftover wild rice and cranberry soup) and unwinding with a little bit of TV (the last two episodes of Top Chef All Stars - Yay Richard!! haha), so I made a card for a co-worker's wedding shower. It was fun, I was completely relaxed, felt no pressure, and even sort of liked the outcome! So, on that note, I am ready for bed - and should already have my eyes closed since tomorrow is my earliest day and I had a sub last week that I might have to pick up after : / Goodnight moon, goodnight little studio room. See you tomorrow! And that is a promise.

Everything feels a bit scattered at the moment. It just seems like my creative heart is being pulled in so many different directions and it is overwhelming. After the coffee house in Detroit didn't hold up their end of the deal for our long-awaited and anticipated spring show, a rejection e-mail from one of the summer residencies I applied for, and a string of small illnesses, I'm feeling kind of bummed. School is a tornado of two months left that is moving on with - what feels like - little direction from me. I've been trying to muster up little bits here and there, but I am stretching my focus thin and being overly critical of anything I attempt to start. My perfectionist self has come out of the woodwork to sabotage any grain of productivity that I may have otherwise squeezed out. Not good. Have you ever been your own worst enemy? I know I am the one who can turn it around, but I feel both mentally and physically fatigued. I think if I can just pull myself out for a good, long run this week (it has been a long time) it might be enough to get me back on track. We'll see. Everybody gets a little lost sometimes. I just happen to feel like I'm in the weeds. Thank God for my amazing husband. He has really kept my head on straight these past few weeks.

Here are a few things that have been going on in my little art studio lately:

My second crocheted Aminiko cat that I learned to make from a lovely book. I will say it did turn out a bit more solidly than the first. I made it for my sister's birthday - he is green and white, a spartan kitty!

This shot greatly represents what has been mostly going on in my studio lately... not a whole lot. These 6x6 squares of bristol board are empty and need to be ready to go to the Rochester, NY exhibit in about a week. I did make two already, but I wasn't happy with how they turned out, so I'm starting again. Maybe on that aforementioned long run I will come up with an idea.

I've still got the childhood photos out and I've been sketching from them. I don't know what I am do drawn to about the past and photographic representations of it. I've been trying to think about that attraction more. If I can figure that out, perhaps it will lead to more ideas.

As you can tell, I am particularly drawn to the ballerina series of shots. There is something so strange about a gang of six-year-old girls in pink tutus and WAY too much make-up.

I started this painting for my Mom. It is a picture of her favorite tree at the park near our home. She had asked me to paint it a while back, and I finally got around to starting it. Of course I seriously dislike it so far. Color is still one of my biggest struggles. I'm going to try and tough through it. She may have to wait another year after this one!

This is reaaallly hard to see, but I've added some possible drawn ideas in the background - my childhood home. Okay, I am surprising even myself in how many directions I have switched back and forth between this past week...

Lastly, I read about this project and would really like to participate. I was thinking a travelogue for our Iceland trip would be perfect (and it would limit me to one small sketchbook in my luggage since I would probably only have time to complete its 35 pages - I've been known to pack too much!). ...or a food journal. Lord knows food and art are two of my favorite things in the world. I'm going to think about it some more. Maybe once I finish at least one of the above projects I can commit.

One last note - one of my goals for the year was to come up with an idea for a children's book. I know, I know, a mere idea sounds like such an easy feat. I was nervous about meeting this goal since every concept I've ever thought up seemed pretty lame. Well, I've got one now... and I love it. It has been on my mind and I can't wait to eventually start. I've got some notes going on my desk. I'll leave you in suspense for now though.

Alright. Well, if this post doesn't give you an idea of how ridiculously scattered my brain is at the moment, then you must be worse off than I am! ; ) Time to snuggle with my love and the cats and get to sleep. Back to school tomorrow. How many weeks until summer? 

I got a lot more done today than I expected. Even though I was pretty tired this morning - and still am - David and I managed to put together three separate pieces of IKEA furniture (which was much simpler than I expected). We got a tiny green square side table for our couch (thank goodness there is finally somewhere to set our drinks!), a table and chairs for our patio (hello summer months - I plan to eat out there every day), and A DESK FOR MY ART SPACE! ...which now officially feels like an actual area meant for art making rather than piles of unorganized stuff on the floor. Once I got started it was hard to stop. Already I feel more inspired - as well as comfortable - and I am sure I will be spending more time in here. It is so much better than sitting on itchy apartment carpeting or carting things back and forth to the dining room table after clearing off whatever clutter was previously there. I still have some things on the floor (books, buckets, a crate full of paper and other surfaces), but we have come a long way with one desk and a couple of drawers. I really REALLY want to go back to IKEA one day when we have more time. David and I only had about an hour so I made a beeline for the desks and that was that. It was really hard to power walk through everything else when we both kept seeing things out of the corner of our eye "That shelf would be awesome! ... I want that bedroom! ... That would be perfect for my records!" Something for a rainy day I guess.

So, here is my new space (easel and birch boards are off to the right and not pictured). Isn't it lovely?

David took me to the Detroit Institute of Arts for my birthday a week ago and it was wonderful. The last time I had browsed the collection was a few years back, and I would have to say this was one of my most memorable trips. David is a wonderful museum-going partner because he is so patient and enjoys reading every label and mulling over pieces as much as I do. After spending about an hour in the Native American art section we quickly realized our dream of having enough time to see everything was unattainable - which, silly me, I should have already known that from square one! So, we went from there to the prints and drawings, modern and contemporary art, and ended with Islamic art. Clearly, another visit is in order so that we can get to everything we missed. I had a few favorites from the pieces that we did see and, per usual when visiting a museum, felt waves of inspiration the strongest of which was to get back into oil painting - I'm realizing more and more how much I miss it. I was practically drooling on the Dervex piece below.

As a side note, just this weekend, David and I made a trip to IKEA and I am in the beginning stages of reorganizing my art space. The Canton trip was in conjunction with an artist's reception for a juried show in Plymouth where Mish and I had some work. So, it has been an art-filled weekend. I also started a new book - Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer - and have cracked open a giant volume on anatomy to fulfill my current need for more technical knowledge... Summer is creeping up on us too. Only 8 weeks left until I can be in complete unadulterated art-making bliss (yes, this is how I am going to describe it). Anyway, before I leave to go and put together my new art table - thank goodness, no more crouching/sitting/kneeling/sprawling on the floor!!! - here are some of my favorites from the most recent DIA trip. I immediately regretted not taking my own images as some of the colors in these online reproductions are absolutely horrific. So, my apologies and mistake clearly taken note of for future museum visits! What are your favorites from the DIA if you have been?

Cafe Scene in Paris 1877 Henri Gervex
the realistic painting techniques steep this image in tradition,
yet the snapshot-like composition was a more daring approach at the time

The Lily Pond 1886 Charles Harry Eaton

The Beach Hat 1914 Robert Henri
a portrait of Henri's wife on a CA beach - the colors in this picture do not do justice to the vivid hues of the painting

Shot in the Wing 1961 Jean Dubuffet
a commentary on life in Paris after WWII

Sea Boots 1976 Andrew Weyeth
meant to be a portrait of one of the artist's closest friends, a lobsterman in Maine

Fluxus Wallpaper 1966/73 Yoko Ono
wallpaper intended to be used, removed, and thrown away

Mad Elga II 1997 Jane Hammond

David and had an extremely relaxing and much needed trip to Paradise, Michigan - which is here, in case you didn't know:

It was such a nice getaway. To have only a handful of choices in terms of how to spend our time was extremely refreshing - it was either take a walk, eat, sleep, read, draw, or watch TV. We spent an equal amount of time enjoying all of those activities. Being in the upper peninsula on Lake Superior revives me in a way that no other place can. I love the fact that there is, literally, nothing around. Walking through the woods and hearing only the creaking of swaying trees, your feet on the ground, and the rustle of natural life in the wind brings you back to what is important. Knowing there is nothing around for miles and miles really makes me feel at ease. The air is crisp and fresh, the nature untouched, and the scenery breathtaking. I was talking with the woman who owns the cabins we stayed in - and who lives in Paradise - and I told her that I could see myself living in the UP quite clearly. Maybe not now, but sometime in the future when I am retired or can afford a little cabin getaway in the woods. She found it strange seeing as most "young people" (although I'm starting to feel a bit old, being on my way to 30) ask her how in the heck they can handle living in Paradise... The only thing I would be unsure of is the food I would have to eat... I can't imagine you would be able to eat fresh, nutritious food all the time since the nearest grocery store is almost an hour away. I don't know how well I'd do on constant canned and packaged food. Anyway, the trip was great and I am feeling refreshed and ready to get back to work. We still have a few more school/work-free days and I am planning on finishing cleaning up our second bedroom - which entails organizing a landfill of teaching papers and resources as well as finding a new system for storing and utilizing my art supplies. As summer draws near, I expect my art momentum will pick back up. I have a commissioned piece in the works, lots of ideas, and OH - my friend Mish and I have our work in a juried exhibit in Plymouth, Michigan centered around the theme of the human face which runs until the end of the month! We are both elated and it feels good to have accomplished something in the way of my work.

I will leave you with some pictures from our trip. I had a great time learning to use my new camera in manual mode. There are so many controls and options to figure out, but I think I made some good progress. There is a lot more to learn though. Time for me to get dressed and get going on that cleaning - and pay some attention to my lovely husband who has been waiting all morning to enjoy this day together :)